If you're not the one.
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My profile should be here. It stated, "You can choose to write a full-length essay about yourself, or you can choose to just reveal your name and age and whatnot, or, you can choose not to reveal yourself at all." So i choose not to (:
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Tuesday, March 30, 2010, 6:06 PM
True friends
just because i kept quiet, it doesn't meant that i'm obliviousi know everything, what you've said.
just that i choose to ignore.
i don't need a friend that adores talking bad about me
i don't need a friend that _ due to boredom
i don't need a friend that twisted the truth about me
i don't need one
don't need one friend like you
&true enough, i'm hurt deeply by your actions
but so what?
you don't even bother
the times when you met your problems and called me to vent out your anger
the times i would attempt to make you laugh whenever something upsetting happens
the times i wouldn't think twice to hang out with you cause you're feeling moody
all those times, you wouldn't even care
if you cherish this friendship, you wouldn't talk behind my back
you would've defended me
and now, i didn't even bother to say bad stuffs back or what
cause if i do that, i'll be no different from you
i wouldn't be angry either, cause the mouth is yours
i'm disappointed, but so what?
telling myself it doesn't matters
cause from now on, i've to bid goodbye to you
what i'll do is to keep a distance from you
and perhaps, if know who you are
i hope you will change when you moved on
because it will hurt many others as well
doesn't matter if it took me 4years to realise who is the right friend
i find it worthwhile.
30th march 2010
i started my day with a joyous mood
and didn't want it to end like how i'm feeling now
went to work early in the morning, feeling insecure
but that's not important.
anw, was suffering from great pain halfway through work
i hold on for about 3hours or so
then started having difficulties breathing
...
then the room + people + objects became blur to me
&my head's spinning.
so i thought that's it, have to go home.
(that was when my day started going downhill)
asked for early leave, so i left at around 4plus
was raining heavily
those who know me, will know that i never had the habit of bringing umbrella
so i decided to walk to shelter instead
and it was raining heavily, no joke.
so by the time i've crossed the road to the shelter, i'm drenched already
afraid to get on bus with that condition, i decided to call _
but who knows, _ doesn't bother
so i took cab
but rainy days, all are either on call or hired.
so i've to wait pretty long
meanwhile, i quarrel with _
then i started crying etc.
in short, i breakdown in bus stop
but there's no one else there
&funny thing was, whenever i see someone walking towards that bus stop, i'll start thinking of places to hide.
funny like mad.
thank gawd no one else there
&i even had suicidal thoughts.
that sounds weird but it's dead serious (at that point of time)
cause beside me there's a huge drain, and flooded with water
plus the water damn fast flowing.
anw, me manage to get into a cab
where the uncle is super good to me that for once;
For Once.
i thought i'm getting kidnapped.
es i know it's hilarious
think the uncle must've seen my eyes cause he told me no need to worried about the taxi fare, ask me don't need pay exact, just pay what i've got.
talked about his 3children, school and so.
manage to pay full sum in the end.
&i think transport alone took me half day of my pay already.
my phone got attacked by the rain also
so it's currently Spoiled.
don't bother to contact me even
in total i think i've cried for an hour or so.
so much that i don't even feel like talking
till now i haven't spoken a single word yet.
thats so not me, _ should know.
blame me in the end? it's okayyyyyyyyyyy
my fault(:
Oh, i've changed course already.
whatever it is, __________________.
am slight feverish, deciding whether i should take leave for tmr or not
but i'm working till end of this week
with left only
not to forget, friday is a holiday.